Monday, 1 September 2014

Learning To Be Better

If there's one thing my family isn't able to do, it's confrontation. I realised that after all the drama happened which I talked about the last time. My mum confronts me abit but after that if I acted like nothing happened, then she would lay it to rest. For the moment (she usually likes to bring up the past as an argument weapon).

My dad is probably not so good at it. The night before he was yelling at me through the phone, however the next day he was greeting me when I came home. He acted as if nothing happened. I guess that's one weakness Asian parents have. If they realised their kid had a point, they wont bring it up again to talk to the kid or apologise. They just take it in, most would shrug it off, and move on with their lives.  This is one quality I envy about Western families. 

They will try to solve problem by problem along the way. I realised most (not all) Asian families would do the opposite instead. Like my parents, they would usually rather not talk about it, and apologising is especially hard to do or sometimes even unheard of. 

Honestly, even I find it awkward to say the word 'sorry' to my parents. Since young, our apologies would usually be in the form of cries and 'no I don't want' when our parents caned us for our wrongdoings.

But I guess no family is perfect and since I can't change my family, might as well just accept them. I know I talked about running away and all, but that was just a suggestion from my friend LOL. They said I had to push my boundaries to the limit if I really wanted my way.

Now that I think about it, I realised running away was something I could never opt for because it would be a really selfish thing to do. 

Just a few days ago, I was really inspired by a person. A friend to be exact. 

I realised that my problem was that I couldn't deny myself. I know many of you would probably think I'm crazy for saying this. "WHAT? Denying myself?? For what??"

I don't have a good answer for it yet. But I have an understanding on it which I can't express in words. The world we live in is full of other lives as we know. But if we always put ourselves first, what will happen to the rest of the world? 

Chaos. That's what.

 It's human nature to want beautiful things, but it's another to attain these things recklessly.

Just some overdue pictures here.

"What we call human nature in actuality is human habit."

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