Eternity is Forever: "We do not see things as they are, we see things as we are"

I know I've been inactive. And it's because I've been super depressed recently. I'd been pretty down since two weeks ago. On what exactly? Well, it's just something too personal to be shared here. I've been having this problem with myself for years now and it just comes on and off without a notice. But let me ask you something, have you ever dread waking up or going to the bathroom because you know that you'll have to face the mirror sooner or later, every single day of your life?

I felt so depressed to the point where every little thing that irritated me or made me feel left out brought me to the verge of breaking down. I hated the knowledge or feeling of someone hating me. It was as if everyone was against me, and everybody hated me.

Whenever someone raised their voice at me or was slightly mean, all I felt like doing was hiding in my room and not coming out to see anyone. All I felt like doing was shutting myself out from this world.

Everything seemed so terrible that everyday for the past two weeks when I woke up, I felt like I was waiting for the sound of a gun shot or explosion to happen through the window at the side of my bed. For somebody to shoot me. And for me to finally blackout and feel in peace.

I guess I'll only be able to share this, once this feeling or problem is totally gone. Once I understand how to overcome it and never feel this way again. Not now.. but soon. I hope.

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Anyways I feel better already thanks to a few important people in my life :) Thank you for going through this phase with me and understanding how I can be so down and unrelatable at times.

So now I'm back :D And I felt like I needed some pampering lol. I guess I felt like I needed change too. Ultimately, when a girl refers to 'pampering' herself, 50% of the time it would mean... SHOPPING!

Haha yup so that's what exactly I did. Since it was my break day and my sisters were all having their school holidays, we decided to go Times Square yesterday :D I felt super tired at first, till I had to drag myself to change into decent clothes and get up the car. I thought I was gonna regret cuz I've so many assignments and quizzes to do currently. Plus I have not even plan on the structure of my video assignment.

Yes I need a structure to work with.

Ok enough about how bad my life is and all. Otw to KL we saw a truck full of racing horses.

So cool right!

And my dad said the whole truck is air conditioned so the horses won't get overheated or anything.

We had lunch and can you see how clean my bowls are? :D

It was World Environment Day yesterday, and many restaurants and homes in Malaysia waste so much food to the extent we can probably feed a whole country.

I don't waste food but sometimes the food outside can taste abit... wrong, so I tend to leave abit of food behind instead of finishing everything on my plate up.

The thing is, if everybody did the same as me, imagine the amount of waste piled up together in one day.

So I did my best yesterday and I'm certainly proud about it. Lol.

Saw this at Times Square.

Apparently there'll be a lucky draw for people who spend a particular amount and above here.

Tadaaaa my haul.

And I have a few more which are already hanging in my closet hehe.

I bought so much I actually feel guilty. Saddest part was I got this dress and it was too big for me -.-

Now I don't know whether to let my mum try to sew it or just sell it to someone. Worse of all its a friggin backless dress and the whole back part is so loose I look like I have a back pouch.

Maybe to store a kangaroo.

Waste of money sigh.