Tuesday, 10 September 2013

Maybe We're Torn Apart

This post is for those who have experienced bad friendships, complicated ones and confusing ones.

Lately there have been many difficult decisions to make. Decisions to stay or to leave, to confront or to back off, to endure or to give up.

And although it was tough trying to weigh out the pros and cons of each, I finally came to a decision. I'm still afraid I may regret it though. But I know that it's not worth it anymore for me to continue holding on like this.

I'm talking about how relationships and friendships are ruined because of one person. The person is everything you swear you never wanna meet. The person gossips, spread rumours, backstabs and ultimately, hates you.

I know many of you out there would most likely have come across these kinda people in your lives.
They are like a plague.
They can attack you and appear at any friggin phase of your life. Even when you're 90 years old and in a retirement home trying to rest in peace, no pun intended.

The choice I had to make was like deciding whether to continue hanging out with these bunch of really awesome friends, which you know would probably come by once in a decade, or to just give it all up and sacrifice yourself for their benefit.

You'd probably be wondering now, how in the world is giving your friends up a 'benefit' to them?
Well let's just say that one of them (the-not-so-awesome-one) disliked you and ended up creating a division among the rest of your friends without you yourself even knowing. And instead of doing the righteous thing and leaving you and your friends alone, the person continues to leech on for selfish reasons. For

Rumours spread, gossips thickened the air, making it hard to breathe.
And it gets worse. Because you feel it and you know all of it was about you.

Yes, all because one tiny person disapproved your presence, problems stirred, dramas unfolded.

After what has been happening for so long now, you have a choice to make on whether you want to continue to endure this never-ending drama, trying to get back at that person whenever you can, or...... to just surrender for the sake of peace, and wistfully hope that particular person would stop this drama he had orchestrated.

That he would stop trying to brainwash the rest of them into thinking you're the bad person.
That you're the disloyal one. That you're the one who only hung with them when you had no friends.

Of course you know it's total bollocks. But you just can't help wondering whether the rest of them knew that, or actually slowly caved in to everything they've heard, their subconscious minds gradually taking in and believing the gossips.

That's where you reach your breaking point and decide that you've had enough.

I walked away from it. Though it was probably the only friendship in so long which gave me the best memories, it was also the one that hurt the most. I had to act like a different person and I had to be self-conscious with everything I said. Heck, I couldn't even freely express whether I liked something or not. It was as if my opinions didn't matter.

I really hope you'll understand where I'm coming from, and know that being in this 'friendship' was like cutting myself and asking you guys to join me.
So I've finally decided to stop.
I finally realised that it's ok that I'm at loss as long as I don't cause you guys to lose a friend as well. Because that would just be plain selfish of me.

Whereas for that backstabber, I pray that you'd one day learn to make friends without having to use other people's trash to win them over. It sucks when you look back and realised that people only stuck with you for juicy secrets. Nothing more.


Run For Peace 2013

Last Sunday, I went for a charity run for the first time. I usually do not take part in events like these because the distance intimidates me lol. This one I went for was 7.5km if I'm not mistaken. Yea 7.5km was pretty scary to me since I only remember running that much when I was in Secondary school. 

 But at the end of the day it was pretty fun.
The healthy kinda fun ;D

This was taken after the whole tiring run. So pardon the hair.
Of all my friends that turned up, I only managed to meet them.
I found out others were there as well only through Instagram heh.

This is proof I finished the run!

OK sadly I didn't take much photos because... I was running. DUHHH. Hahaha
I did stop like once or twice but we still managed to catch up with the rest in front, though we were late and actually lagging behind.

So unfortunately no more photos. 
I mean where got mood to camwhore la after running like a mad dog. 
All the energy in me was practically used to move my legs.

Next year I'm aiming to join the Nike run. Yeaa.

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